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The Great Mouse Detective


The World's Greatest Criminal Mind
Let Me Be Good To You
Goodbye So Soon



The World's Greatest Criminal Mind
Ratigan, Bartholomew & Chorus

Ratigan
(My friends!
We are about to embark on the most
odious, the most evil, the most diabolical
scheme of my illustrious career
A crime to top all crimes,
a crime that will live in infamy!

Tomorrow evening
Our beloved monarch 
celebrates her diamond jubilee
And, with the enthusiastic help of
our good friend Mr. Flaversham
it promises to be a night she will never forget
Her last night, and my first
as supreme ruler of all mousedom!)

From the brain that brought you the Big Ben Caper
The head that made headlines in every newspaper
And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job
That cunning display that made London a sob

Now comes the real tour de force
Tricky and wicked, of course
My earlier crimes were fine for their times
But now that I'm at it again
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In my great criminal brain

Chorus
Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?
You're the best of the worst around
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
The rest fall behind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind

Ratigan
(Thank you, Thank you
But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar
I've had my share of adversity
thanks to that miserable second-rate
detective, Basil of Baker Street
For years, that insufferable pipsqueak
has interfered with my plans
I haven't had a moment's peace of mind
But, all that's in the past! 
This time, nothing, not even Basil
can stand in my way! 
All will bow before me!

Chorus
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're tops and that's that
To Ratigan
To Ratigan

Bartholomew
To Ratigan
The world's greatest rat

Ratigan
(What was that? 
What did you call me?

Thug 1
Oh, oh, he didn't mean it, Professor

Thug 2
I-it was just a slip of the tongue

Ratigan
I am NOT A RAT!

Thug 3
'Course you're not
You're a mouse!

Thug 4
Yeah, that's right
Right! A mouse

Thug 5
Yeah, a big mouse!

Ratigan
SILENCE!
Oh, my dear Bartholomew
I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me
You know what happens when someone upsets me)

Bartholomew
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're the tops and that's that

(Oh dear)

To Ratigan
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest…

Felicia
Meow

Ratigan
(Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby
Did Daddy's little honey bun enjoy her tasty treat?

Felicia
Urp

Ratigan
I trust there will be no further interruptions?
And now, as you were singing?)

Chorus
Even louder
We'll shout it!
No one can doubt what we know you can do
You're more evil than even you
Oh, Ratigan
Oh, Ratigan
You're one of a kind
To Ratigan
To Ratigan
The world's greatest criminal mind



Let Me be Good to You
Show Girl

Dearest friends, dear gentlemen
Listen to my song
Life down here's been hard for you
Life has made you strong
Let me lift the mood
With my attitude

Hey, fellas
The time is right
Get ready
Tonight's the night
Boys, what you're hopin' for will come true
Let me be good to you

You tough guys
You're feelin' all alone
You rough guys
The best of you sailors and bums
All of my chums

So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cosy
Your baby's here
You won't be misunderstood
Let me be good to you

Hey, fellas
I'll take off all my blues
Hey, fellas
There's nothing I won't do
Just for you

So dream on
And drink your beer
Get cosy
Your baby's here
Hey boys, I'm talkin' to you
Your baby's gonna come through
Let me be good to you

Yeah!

Goodbye So Soon
Ratigan

Goodbye so soon
And isn't this a crime?
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye so soon
You'll find your separate way
With time so short I'll say so long
And go
So soon
Goodbye

You followed me, I followed you
We were like each other's shadows for a while
Now as you see, this game is through
So although it hurts, I'll try to smile
As I say